If Only You Knew

If only you knew
I'd already planned the proposal
And picked the people in our lives...
To help me pull it off...

If only you knew
The faces I made at strangers
In return for the looks they would give
When they saw us walking by...

If only you knew that...
Which every step I took beside you and
With every breath I inhaled,
I exhaled thank You Lord
For the visions He gave me
For us...

If only you knew
That the smile I smiled
While I was with you
Was nothing compared
To the smile I smiled
When I was all alone thinking about you...

But all that is in the past so...

I guess all you'll ever know is
I wanted you...
I needed you...
I had you...
Then I lost you
For reasons I still cannot
Wrap my train of thought around
As I continue to
Run all over my memories of us
And what we used to be...